Wednesday, July 12, 2006

On The Death of an Icon


I filled up with sorrow last night when I found out.

Cookie Monster is dead.

And has been replaced with the abomination shown here:

I found out last night, a bit later than probably Tammy for eg (who is knowledgeable regarding children’s programming) that “cookies are a sometimes food”. Translation: Cookie Monster now needs to eat good food too, like vegetables, because he is setting a bad example for the kids who believe that whatever Cookie Monster does, they should do. I guess this is good, kids are learning to eat well from a blue puppet on Sesame Street named (inappropriately now) “Cookie Monster.” I mean, it IS after all Cookie Monster’s fault that America is as fat as it is. I know as a child, looking at that blue monster was like looking in a mirror, I knew that what he did represented what I should be doing. Bloody hell, Cookie Monster is the root of all that is evil in this world!!!!!

Obviously joking here. To a degree.

I don’t remember even once having eaten a cookie after seeing Cookie Monster eat his. I think that most (if not all) kids can discern the difference between a puppet and themselves. Alex (3.5 year old son) can tell you who is a boy and who is a girl just by looking at their faces, so I know that it’s a stretch of the imagination to believe that he can tell the difference between a blue monster puppet and a person. Jeez, it just hit me that I took him to see the movie “Cars” the other day (not a bad flick) and that they drank gasoline!!!!! Maybe Alex will now start drinking gas because he liked the cars (Lightning McQueen in particular) in that movie. Damn Disney!!!

To fight this calamity of monstrous proportions (clever eh?) please sign the below petition (I am at number 2821) to give Cookie Monster his cookie jar back: http://www.petitiononline.com/cookie12/petition.html

This tragedy points to a real problem facing westernized society.

Political Correctness.

Don’t get me wrong, I agree with this in moderation. Equality of the sexes, inappropriate behavior in the workplace etc.. but these all stem from a basic understanding of respect. The Cookie Monster eating cookies has not hurt anyone. Everyone loves a good cookie every now and then, and why the powers that be use the television as a media for entertainment instead of encouraging its usefulness as a babysitter?

What about “Where is Thumbkin?” Bec informs me that it has now been officially changed from “How are you today sir?” to “How are you today friend.” Sexist? I don’t see it. What’s so bad about labeling something a boy or a girl? I don’t mind it people say “That Mike, he’s a (fill in the blank with adjective(s) of your choice) guy.” As opposed to some generic thing like “friend.” What have we come to?

There are heaps of examples of this type of garbage where people in power think they are bettering society by treating everyone as a generic, but they’re destroying what makes us great, that we are all different.

So, to propose a solution, albeit an extreme one, bring back political incorrectness!!!! Bring back the “Beer Wench” (http://www.beerwench.com.au/), keep the women barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, and kill the metrosexual.

Or simply revel in our diversity and cherish the difference needs of our society, be it an insatiable desire to eat cookies, to call one’s thumb “Sir,” and support chivalry, let a man be a man and a woman a woman.

Jeez, get a grip.
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2 comments:

NanNan said...

Agree with you 90%--except for the part of barefoot and pregnant--:) When the pendulum swings, it always goes to far before settling back to middle--Cookie monster- that's crazy stuff-- do you remember when a televangelist,Gerry Falwell, spoke out about one of the teletubbies being gay-- they were asexual for goodness sake---cartoons!!! Get a grip world!!!

kicking-and-singing said...

You said it Mike, Cookie Monster just isn't the same without the damned endless need to consume those damned cookies...alright so now he is teachng kids to eat other things liek fruit..hello, isn't that the job of the parental units?
Why can't people just leave well enough alone?
Don't expect to see me barefoot and pregnant, but you know you can see me being me...yup I'm just as stubbourn now as when we were kids, and I've been called wench so hey, it's all good. I'm still kicking and the guy still has his teeth*S*