Happy Birthday

Well, it's February 2nd again. So I would like to wish my dearly departed brother Chris a happy birthday. You would have been 32 today. Just think, 32 years ago today was born my arch nemesis, bestest child-hood friend, a participant in all my happiest memories growing up, and the cause of my saddest moment where in addition to the loss, I learned that sometimes, things don't just work out. Sometimes they hit the fan in the worst possible way. A painful lesson, but one that I will carry and remember.

BUT, I'm not bitter, harbouring guilt, or anything negative like that. I choose to remember what you were to me, good and bad. The good because that is who you were, and the bad as a reminder of how fast and far we can fall.

I still think of you daily, probably more now that I am leaving NS for Oz, and I seem to feel it more too for some reason. I don't know, and I won't stop to analyze it. Just accept the loss, accept the accompanying sadness, and try to focus the loss into something positive, and smile at you because I know you are doing the same.

You cut me deep Chris.

You cut me deep.